Congratulations or Best Wishes: Wedding Etiquette and What to Say

Saying congratulations or best wishes at a wedding used to follow a set etiquette rule. Congratulations went to the groom, and best wishes went to the bride. Today most people use either phrase for both partners, and it is very unlikely anyone will mind which one you choose.

This guide explains the traditional rule and how wedding card etiquette works now. It also gives short examples of what to say in person, in a receiving line, in a card, at a shower or engagement party, for a second marriage or elopement, and to the parents of the couple.

Article contents

• How to Congratulate the Bride and Groom
• Best Wishes vs. Congratulations: The Traditional Rule
• What Most People Say Today
• What to Say to the Bride and Groom: In-Person Messages
• What to Say in a Wedding Receiving Line: Short Wishes
• Wedding Congratulations Messages for a Card
• Bridal Shower and Engagement Party Wishes
• Messages for a Second Marriage or Elopement
• What to Say to the Parents of the Couple: Messages
• Frequently Asked Questions

How to Congratulate the Bride and Groom

These simple habits work in person and in a card.

1. Use either phrase with confidence. "Congratulations" and "best wishes" are both polite for either partner today, so choose the one that sounds natural to you.
2. Speak to both people. Address the couple together, and use both of their names in a card when you know them.
3. Add one personal detail. Mention the ceremony, the vows or something you have always liked about them as a couple.
4. Keep it short in person. The couple has many guests to greet, so a sentence or two is plenty. Save longer thoughts for the card.

A simple example: "Congratulations to you both. The ceremony was beautiful, and we wish you every happiness together."

Best Wishes vs. Congratulations: The Traditional Rule

Traditional etiquette guides once taught that guests should congratulate the groom and offer best wishes to the bride. The reasoning was that "congratulations" suggests a person has won or achieved something. Saying it to the groom meant he was fortunate to be marrying his bride. Saying it to the bride was thought to suggest that she had worked to win a husband, which was considered unflattering.

"Best wishes" avoided that problem. It wished the bride happiness without implying anything about how the marriage came about.

The rule was written for a bride and a groom. For a couple with two brides or two grooms, it does not apply, and either phrase is fine for both partners.

What Most People Say Today

Today most people say "congratulations" to both partners, and many say "best wishes" to both as well. Both are polite, and a bride is very unlikely to be offended by being congratulated. Many guests simply use the two phrases together, as in "Congratulations and best wishes."

Each phrase still has a slightly different feel. "Congratulations" sounds warm and celebratory, so it suits friends and family at the reception. "Best wishes" sounds a little more formal, so it works well in a card to a coworker, a neighbor or someone you do not know well. It is also a common way to close a wedding card, as in "With best wishes, Sarah and Tom."

What to Say to the Bride and Groom: In-Person Messages

When you greet the couple at the ceremony or reception, keep your words brief and warm. Any of these short messages works for either partner.

• Congratulations, you two. That was a beautiful ceremony.
• Congratulations! I am so happy for you both.
• Best wishes to you both. Thank you for letting us share your day.
• You both look so happy. Congratulations!
• Your vows were lovely. Congratulations to you both.
• Thank you for including us today. We are so happy for you.
• Congratulations to the newlyweds!
• Congratulations! Today felt just like the two of you.
• Best wishes for a long and happy marriage.

What to Say in a Wedding Receiving Line: Short Wishes

A receiving line moves quickly, so plan on one or two sentences. If the couple or their families may not know you, start with your name and how you know the couple.

• Congratulations! I am Lisa, Emma's college roommate. It was a beautiful ceremony.
• Best wishes to you both. We are so glad we could be here.
• Congratulations to you both. You look wonderful.
• Hello, I am Mark from Jake's office. Congratulations to you both!
• Congratulations! We have been looking forward to this day.
• Best wishes, and thank you for having us.
• It was a lovely ceremony. Congratulations to you both.
• Congratulations! We cannot wait to celebrate with you tonight.

Wedding Congratulations Messages for a Card

A card gives you room for a little more than a quick hello. These lines use "congratulations," "best wishes" or both, so you can choose the tone that fits. For many more wording ideas sorted by relationship, see our full list of wedding wishes for a wedding card.

• Congratulations on your wedding! We are so happy for you both.
• Congratulations and best wishes as you start your married life together.
• With best wishes for a long and happy marriage.
• Congratulations on your marriage. May your home always be full of love and laughter.
• Best wishes on your wedding day and in all the years ahead.
• Congratulations to the newlyweds! Thank you for letting us be part of such a happy day.
• Warmest congratulations to you both on your wedding.
• Sending our best wishes to the bride and groom.
• Congratulations! It has been wonderful to watch your love grow, and today was a perfect start.
• Best wishes to a wonderful couple. We hope your marriage brings you both great happiness.

Bridal Shower and Engagement Party Wishes

At a bridal shower or engagement party, the focus is on the wedding plans ahead. "Congratulations" is the usual choice, and "best wishes" fits well in a more formal card. For longer lists, see our bridal shower wishes and engagement card messages.

• Congratulations on your engagement! We are so happy for you both.
• Best wishes as you plan your wedding. We cannot wait for the big day.
• Congratulations! Your wedding is going to be beautiful.
• Wishing you a fun shower today and a lovely wedding day soon.
• Congratulations to the bride to be. We are so glad to celebrate with you.
• Best wishes to you both as you start this exciting time.
• Congratulations! We hope these gifts help as you set up your home together.
• We are so happy to celebrate your engagement with you. Congratulations!

Messages for a Second Marriage or Elopement

The same phrases work for a second marriage or a couple who eloped. For a second marriage, keep the focus on the couple and the life they are building now, and leave out any mention of past marriages. If a couple eloped or had a very small wedding, you can still send a card after the fact, even if you were not there.

• Congratulations to you both. We are so glad you found each other.
• Best wishes for every happiness in your marriage.
• We were thrilled to hear your news. Congratulations to the two of you!
• Congratulations on your elopement! We are sending our love and best wishes.
• Congratulations on getting married. We would love to celebrate with you soon.
• Best wishes to you both as you begin this new chapter together.
• Congratulations to your whole family as you come together.
• We are so happy that you two made it official. Congratulations!

What to Say to the Parents of the Couple: Messages

Parents are happy to hear "congratulations" too. A short compliment about the day or about their child is always welcome. If the parents hosted the wedding, thanking them for having you is a kind touch.

• Congratulations! It was a beautiful wedding.
• Congratulations on your daughter's wedding. She looked so happy today.
• Congratulations on your son's wedding. He and Anna make a great couple.
• Thank you for having us. Congratulations to your whole family.
• Congratulations! You must be so proud of them both.
• Best wishes to your family on this happy day.
• Congratulations on gaining a wonderful son-in-law.
• This is a wonderful day for your family. Congratulations!

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it rude to say congratulations to the bride?

No. The old rule against it is rarely followed today, and most brides are glad to hear "congratulations." If you prefer a more traditional approach, "best wishes" is always a safe choice.

Is best wishes or congratulations better for a wedding card?

Both are correct. "Congratulations" sounds a little more celebratory, while "best wishes" sounds a little more formal. Many people use both, writing "Congratulations and best wishes" before signing their names.

What should I say to the bride and groom in a receiving line?

Keep it to a sentence or two, such as "Congratulations, it was a beautiful ceremony." If they may not remember you, give your name and how you know them first.

Can I say congratulations to the parents of the couple?

Yes. "Congratulations" is a warm and fitting thing to say to the parents. You can add a kind word about the ceremony or about their son or daughter.

For long lists of wedding card messages for friends, family and coworkers, see our 100 wonderful wedding wishes. Our guides to how to sign a card and how much money to put in a card can help you finish the card and the gift.

Our Whimsical Florals set is blank inside, with plenty of room for any of these wedding messages.