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The Tradition of 'Best Wishes' at Weddings: Explained

The Tradition of 'Best Wishes' at Weddings: Explained

Do you say best wishes for a wedding? The short answer: Yes! It's customary and traditional to say "Best Wishes" to a bride and "Congratulations" to a groom. This practice dates back to the Victorian era, where offering "Congratulations" to a bride implied she was fortunate to have "won" a husband. While not everyone sticks to these old etiquette rules today, using the right phrasing at weddings can still be a meaningful nod to historical traditions.

In weddings, etiquette is not just a set of rules, but a beautiful connection to past traditions. Choosing between "Best Wishes" and "Congratulations" may seem trivial, but it reflects an understanding of traditional sentiments and conveys respect for the occasion.

I'm Eric Koenig, the founder of Twigs Paper. My dedication to sustainability and thoughtful design not only fuels our eco-friendly products but also inspires our commitment to respecting traditions like whether you should say best wishes for a wedding. Now, let’s dive deeper into the fascinating history behind these wedding customs.

The History of 'Best Wishes' at Weddings

The tradition of offering "Best Wishes" at weddings has deep roots in the past, specifically the Victorian era. During this time, etiquette played a significant role in social interactions, and weddings were no exception. The choice of words for congratulating a bride or groom was carefully considered, reflecting societal norms and expectations.

Victorian Era Etiquette

In the Victorian era, saying "Congratulations" to a bride was considered inappropriate because it implied she had achieved something extraordinary by securing a husband. Instead, people would say "Best Wishes" to express hope for her happiness and future welfare. This was a subtle yet important distinction, emphasizing the bride's journey into a new chapter of life rather than a conquest.

Origins of the Tradition

The tradition of using "Best Wishes" instead of "Congratulations" for brides can be traced back to the societal values of the time. Marriages were often seen as alliances that brought families together, and the bride's role was to maintain harmony and happiness within the new union. By offering "Best Wishes," well-wishers were acknowledging the bride's new responsibilities and expressing support for her future.

Modern Implications

Today, while many people are unaware of the historical significance, the tradition of saying "Best Wishes" to brides persists. It's a nod to the past and an acknowledgment of the journey a couple is starting on together. As weddings have evolved, so too has the understanding of these phrases. Many now use "Best Wishes" and "Congratulations" interchangeably, focusing more on the sentiment behind the words rather than strict adherence to tradition.

Victorian Wedding

Incorporating these traditions into modern weddings can be a way to honor the past while celebrating the future. Understanding the origins of these customs can also add depth and meaning to the words we choose when celebrating loved ones on their special day.

Next, let's explore how to craft the perfect wedding card message, whether you're going for a formal, casual, or humorous tone.

Do You Say Best Wishes for a Wedding?

When it comes to wedding etiquette, knowing whether to say "Best Wishes" or "Congratulations" can be confusing. Let's break down the traditional and modern practices to help you steer this social norm.

Proper Etiquette

Traditionally, the etiquette of saying "Best Wishes" to a bride stems from the idea that she is starting on a new journey, not achieving a victory. The Victorian era viewed marriage as a partnership, not a prize. Saying "Congratulations" to a bride implied she had accomplished something by securing a husband, which was considered inappropriate.

Instead, "Best Wishes" was used to express hope for her happiness and success in this new chapter. For the groom, however, "Congratulations" was deemed suitable, as it implied he had successfully won the heart of his bride.

Bride vs Groom

This distinction between the bride and groom has its roots in historical gender roles. The groom was seen as the active participant, proposing and initiating the union, while the bride was seen as accepting and entering a new role. Thus, offering "Best Wishes" to the bride acknowledged her new responsibilities and the challenges ahead.

Modern Practices

Today, many people use "Best Wishes" and "Congratulations" interchangeably, reflecting evolving views on marriage equality and partnership. The focus has shifted from rigid etiquette to the sentiment behind the words. It's more about celebrating the couple's love and commitment than adhering to traditional gender roles.

In fact, in modern weddings, especially those involving same-sex couples, the distinction has become less relevant. The emphasis is on expressing joy and support for both partners. Whether you choose "Best Wishes" or "Congratulations," the key is to convey genuine happiness and encouragement for the couple's future together.

When deciding what to say, consider your relationship with the couple and their preferences. Some may appreciate the nod to tradition, while others might prefer a more contemporary approach.

Next, let's explore how to craft the perfect wedding card message, whether you're going for a formal, casual, or humorous tone.

How to Craft the Perfect Wedding Card Message

Writing a wedding card can feel like a big task. But don't worry! With a few tips, you can create a message that feels just right for the couple.

Formal Wishes

For a formal wedding, you'll want your message to match the elegance of the event. Formal wishes are timeless and classic, offering a touch of sophistication.

  • "Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness."
  • "May your love grow stronger each and every passing year."

These messages are ideal for black-tie events or when you're addressing someone you don't know very well.

Casual Wishes

If the wedding is more laid-back, or if you're close to the couple, casual wishes are the way to go. Keep it simple and heartfelt.

  • "So happy for you both! Here's to a great future together."
  • "Cheers to love and laughter on your wedding day!"

These are perfect for friends or family members who appreciate a relaxed tone.

Funny Wishes

Want to make the couple laugh? Funny wishes can add a lighthearted touch. Just be sure to know your audience well—humor can be tricky!

  • "Thanks for the free booze! Best wishes on a fun-filled marriage."
  • "Marriage is a workshop... where the husband works and the wife shops!"

Humor can make your card memorable, but keep it kind and avoid any jokes that might seem insensitive.

Inspirational Wishes

If you want to inspire the couple, inspirational wishes can offer wisdom and encouragement.

  • "May your life together be filled with trips and your love be endless."
  • "Here's to a future filled with love, joy, and all the trips you can handle."

These messages are great for couples who value meaningful and thoughtful sentiments.

Religious Wishes

For couples who share a faith, religious wishes can be a beautiful way to honor their beliefs.

  • "May God bless your union and guide you in your new journey together."
  • "Wishing you a marriage filled with love and faith."

Consider the couple's specific beliefs and tailor your message accordingly to respect their traditions.

With these tips, you're ready to craft a wedding card message that will resonate with the couple. Whether formal, casual, funny, inspirational, or religious, the key is to be genuine and heartfelt. Now, let's move on to some frequently asked questions about wedding wishes.

Frequently Asked Questions about Wedding Wishes

What is the best greeting for a wedding?

Choosing the right greeting for a wedding card is all about the tone and relationship you have with the couple. Formal wedding wishes are perfect for neat ceremonies or when you aren't very familiar with the couple. A classic choice might be:

  • "Wishing you endless love and happiness."

For a more personal touch, especially if you're close friends with the couple, consider warmest wishes:

  • "May your journey together be filled with joy and love."

These greetings express deep, heartfelt sentiments and are suitable for any wedding occasion.

Can we say best wishes instead of congratulations?

Yes, you can definitely say best wishes instead of congratulations, especially to the bride. Traditionally, "best wishes" is used to express hope for the future happiness of the bride, while "congratulations" is directed towards the groom, acknowledging his achievement in the Victorian era.

In modern practices, this distinction isn't as strict. Both expressions are now widely accepted for either partner. The key is to convey an expression of hope and joy for the couple's future together.

How to wish someone well for a wedding?

Wishing someone well for their wedding can vary based on your relationship with them and the tone you wish to convey. For close friends, a message filled with love and personal sentiment is ideal:

  • "I'm so thrilled for you both! Here's to a lifetime of happiness and love."

For a more general or formal approach, focus on themes of endless love and happiness:

These wishes are perfect for celebrating the couple's special occasion and letting them know you're thinking of them.

Conclusion

At Twigs Paper, we believe that every celebration deserves a meaningful touch, and weddings are no exception. Our eco-friendly greeting cards are designed to capture the essence of life's special moments while honoring the beauty of nature. Crafted with 100% recycled paper and packaged in plastic-free materials, our cards offer a sustainable way to express heartfelt sentiments.

Choosing the right words for a wedding card can be daunting, but with our wide selection of cards and thoughtful designs, you're sure to find the perfect match for any couple. Whether you prefer a formal wish, a casual note, or an inspirational message, our cards provide a canvas for your unique expression of joy and hope.

As a leader in sustainable stationery, we are committed to protecting the planet while celebrating the art of thoughtful design. Our cards serve as a reminder that you can honor cherished traditions, like saying best wishes for a wedding, while also caring for the environment.

Explore our collection and find the perfect card to celebrate the couple's journey together. Let Twigs Paper be part of your meaningful celebrations, where every word and gesture counts.

Find our collection of eco-friendly wedding cards and share your best wishes with the happy couple.

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